In computer news this week, 11/06/2001

The new Washington voters ballot, or .. Florida thought they had something to complain about ..

Today I voted in the tiny town I live in. Voting is as much a social event as going to church . The firestation is the polling place, with people outside standing around talking about their lives, their children, the weather - which looks like snow, the economy - which looks terrible, and oh yes - we do need to vote, don't we. None of the rush of city voting I'm used to, cars doubleparked outside, cell phones beeping , lines of anxious people waiting to go next to the grocery store and then finally home.

I walk inside almost expecting to see tables of pies and ice cream, and cups of coffee. There are several kindly ladies at two tables. I have my voter card in hand ready for inspection, but one lady says "You're over there." and directs me to the other table. I've been identified - in a small town of 242, everyone knows who you are. Plus I'm a candidate on the ballot for town council. I'm running unopposed, but I'm still here to get that one vote that might put me over the top.

"Here's the new ballot - have you seen it yet?" She asks, handing me a legal sized sheet of paper. "You just color in the choices with that felt pen there in the booth.."

I carry this large sheet of paper to the booth, sit down and pull the top off a felt tip pen.

Instantly I'm back in 2nd grade; it's time for crayons and coloring books, and the pen smells like the old blue mimeo sheets they used to give us. "Today, boys and girls, we're going to color in our choice for proposition 747 and others initiatives, and then be sure to turn your sheet over and fill in the choices on the back. " There is no neat little slot to put my computer ballot in; no little tool to punch chads out with. Instead I sit here with a large piece of paper and a felt pen, wondering if I have to pass a penmanship test. It's hard to fill in the circles neatly; you have to make several marks in each choice. By the third question I have a pattern down; I trace the circle carefully, and then fill in the middle.

First page complete, I turn the sheet over, smiling at my neat careful work. To my horror, on the back side of the sheet, I see grotesque blotches bleeding through the paper from the front side. A couple of them almost obliterate the 2nd side questions.

The ballot from Hell, who thought this one up ? In the event of a recount I guess they have to bring in the Rosarch ink blot people.

I answer the 2nd side, and turn it over again. Yep, they bleed through real good from the back too ....

I start to get up but notice a large red sign in the booth that says "Stop - do not remove legs." Cowed into submission by all these elementary processes, I politely raise my hand and say "I'm finished voting, but the sign says not to remove my legs..."

The ladies break into peals of laughter, and one says "That's for when we dismantle the booths later on..", and she beckons me over to what looks like a copy machine. "Just insert your ballot into this slot, and it will take it from your hand."

I try to hide my blotchy ballot from her sharp eye as I do this, and notice this machine has more gadgets than an ATM machine. Is it taking my fingerprints off the sheet; is it taking a picture of me; is it doing that eye retina scan thing and putting me in an airport security database?

I'm thanked for voting, and told turnout is a little slow so far.

As I walk to my car, I think "Ah, that was so much simpler than online computer voting..."

For Raw Bytes, This is Frank Delaney

POB 222 Spangle, Wa 99031 (509)245-3736 624-7230