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In computer news this week  11/07/2007

 

How you write your grocery list may determine your computer programming ability ....

 

I have created hundreds of grocery lists, which make sense to me, but its other people's lists that drive me crazy.

 

I start on the right, and finish on the left. My list shows the exact item I need, by location, in logical location sequence. I had shopped at the same grocery store for decades, and knew the location of everything in stock. Sometimes they’d call ME up and say “Frank, where’s the pickled Herring ... “

 

My grocery lists make perfect sense to me, and I think they’re very logical and sequential.

 

It's other people lists that drive me nuts.

 

Take for example - my Mom's grocery lists, who I shopped for until she passed, because she was in her  80’s. She was an old Alaskan, born in Ruby on the Yukon river, and she called it her “Git list”

 

My mom would give me a grocery list based on no logic at all. I would even try to sort it mentally into some logical order and fail. First item was on the extreme left, next item was 100 yards over to the right. 75 yards back to the cookies, then 1/4 mile back over to ice cream.

 

 Then maybe a mile back to tomatoes. Then, of course, 2 miles across store to kleenex.

 

By now I'm looking for a place to camp for the night, and continue on the next day after I'm rested.

 

But then came the worst par of her list , which read "Those doohinkies I like ...".

 

At this point if I were a computer, I would either have a hard disk crash, or display the message "that does not compute!".

 

Doohinkies are not on the brief listing of food categories on the little chart on my shopping cart, nor are they anywhere in the big generic store published list of available groceries and products.

 

I, a grown man, am not going to ask a clerk “where the doohinkies are. “

 

And I will absolutely, positively not ask a stranger in a grocery store if they happened to pass the doohinkies somewhere in their travels.

 

Instead, I will stand here next to the kleenex, the last known logical item on the list, and try to determine exactly what a doohinkey is.  I might be here for a long time.....

 

I also found out an interesting thing in this process – I can’t shop from the left !  I have to start shopping at the far right side of the grocery store ... or I crash just like a computer.

 

 

Computers are so logical and unemotional, and it’s nice to be able to recall a computer related story which has a heart warming human element to it.

 

I wrote this show for my Mother in 1999 which aired on Raw Bytes on KPBX back then -  she really enjoyed it,  and I hope you do too.

 

 

 

For Raw Bytes

This is Frank Delaney

(C) 2007 MTA Micro Technology Associates

http://www.mtamicro.com/kpbx.html

PO Box 31522  Spokane, Wa 99223-1522

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mailto:frank@mtamicro.com