In computer news this week, 05/03/2000

Everything on the Internet claims to be the best, but now there's a worst of the worst site ...

Nobody owns the internet. Anybody can put anything on the internet and make any claim they want - that's why there's internet scams, stalkers, and all the bad things you hear about the Internet in the news. I was following the news last Friday and saw a breaking story on the Lawsuit about the Record Industry of America against the new mp3 music format, so I went out to mp3.com to get their side of the story.

While on their site, I just happened to notice a link to a site called the worst of the worst - meaning the worst music on the internet. You see, anyone can record music in the mp3 format and then post it on the internet, claiming it to be good music. The question is - who is going to challenge these claims and say what's bad and what's good. We KPBX listeners of course know what good music is, but how about the rest of the world?

Ah, that's where the worst site comes in. The worst of the worst site - really bad music, is run by a fellow named Robert who tells me he is a musician, actor, and visual artist. He got fed up with hearing horrible music on the internet, and so he started his site last month to assist people in understanding what is really bad music.

You can actually listen to the songs at this site, and make your own judgement. I would say that generally he is right on, but a few times I didn't think the music was quite as bad as he said.

The site address is http://stations.mp3s.com/stations/44/the_worst_of_the_worst_ver.html.

And fittingly, the page features a picture of the famous painting "The Scream" on it.

His comments are what make this site hilarious. I found myself laughing hysterically. Anyone who has suffered thru a bad karaoke night at a bar, or just a bad performance somewhere, knows the feeling. You're in a situation where the music is hideous and people are sitting there smiling as if they're enjoying it. Won't someone stop the madness and scream "This is horrible!"

Here are some of his comments .. as he assigns each song a torture factor rating ..

Song with Torture factor 9 - "Do you have a new pet you need fixed/ This song will sterilize animals under 100 lbs and at up to 200 feet away. While listening to this song I found myself wanting to call a priest. An exorcism is the only thing that can help this situation ..."

Song with Torture factor 9 - You have to listen to this to believe it - it leaves you with the feeling that Armegeddon is indeed coming soon. And these are the sounds you will hear as you run away in terror from the beasts that have come to purify the earth.

Song with Torture factor 10 - I have always been anti-censorship, but this is a prime example of why there should be a no-talent clause in the first amendment.

Song with Torture factor - 8 Arggggghh! Kill me - please kill me... That's what the unfortunate victims in your secret basement torture pit will say as you play this song over and over.

Song - Torture factor 8 - the offpitch voice cracking that sends dogs fleeing in terror, the 4 minutes here is actually enough time to do damage to anyone within earshot.

Song with the title "I gave my cow aids" - torture factor 10 - I feel physically sick after this one. Just when you think it can't get worse, it does. I promise you will not want to play this one twice.

In fairness, the worst site also has a place for comments from the people whose music has been deemed the worst, and understandably, they are not pleased.

So if you need a good laugh, take time out and surf to the worst of the worst site. But turn down your speaker volume - it's really the worst music you'll ever hear.

For Raw Bytes, this is Frank Delaney

POB 222

Spangle, WA 99031

(509) 245-3736

fdspokane@aol.com